


Dreams

by poisonousquinzel



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020), Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019), Harley Quinn (Comics)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Violence, F/F, Fluff, Harleen Quinzel Needs a Hug, Pamela Isley Loves Harleen Quinzel, Past Joker (DCU)/Harleen Quinzel, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, with a sprinkle of PAIN
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26962087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisonousquinzel/pseuds/poisonousquinzel
Summary: Harleen has been dreaming of white dresses and love stories that make her heart flutter as long as she can remember, with folders full of her innocent and hopeful dreams, she dreamt.However as years passed and the world grew colder her dreams seemed to dissolve in the acid that bleached her skin and stripped her of her identity, but her life with Ivy didn't feel like it dream. It felt like a fantasy, full of soft touches filled with passion and moans that that would linger in her memory forever.A fantasy she was living.
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 3
Kudos: 114





	Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> this is a short lil fic as a like thank you to my followers on tumblr 💖💖💖

**_“If you’d told me all those years ago that I’d be in a serious relationship in 6 years, to a human, I’d have said you were the one who needed to be in the cell.”_ **

**_“Ha, well ya wouldn’t be wrong.”_ **

Harley’s been dreaming of getting married ever since she was a little girl. She remembers staying up late and cutting out wedding dresses and venues out of magazines, making a folder full of her innocent and hopeful dreams. 

She dreamed of white and red clouds full of butterflies and roses and she longed for the heart pounding, breathtaking love stories that consumed her mind. 

She wanted to be someone’s one and only, their true love. She wanted someone to look at her like they were looking at the moon, looking at something bright and beautiful, but yet mysterious that leaves them wanting more. Someone who would burn down NASA just to fill her eyes with the stars that dotted the night sky. 

Harley couldn’t help it, she’s a romantic, sue her.

**_“But every since the day I met you, I knew you were special. You weren’t like everyone else and somehow you made being around these people manageable, even, dare I say it, enjoyable at times.”_ **

8 years ago she thought she’d found it, the love she’d been missing her whole life, that she’d craved and longed and ached for. One that filled the gaping hole in her heart and made her stomach turn with butterflies, with a smile that made her knees weak and a gorgeous, expensive diamond ring that was a symbol of his love for her. 

She remembers feeling like fainting, but she threw her arms around him with a gleeful squeal after he slipped the ring on. She couldn’t remember saying yes, but she knows she did. 

She remembers the warmth of his hands on her back and the ragged breathing of the dying woman in the background who had been caught in the crossfire during their robbery. 

**_“And I still have no idea how you did it, but Harley, I can’t imagine living without you and… and I don’t want to.”_ **

She also remembers the pain in her lungs when the poison began seeping from inside the fake diamond during the night, filling her lungs until she couldn’t breath and she felt like she was drowning, suffocating to death. 

She remembers the flesh underneath her fingernails as she clawed at her throat, her eyes wide as she reached blindly for the love she believed was sleeping next to her. 

She remembers the coldness of the blanket seeping into her fingers and spreading through her trembling form, and she remembers the feeling of her body desperately trying to gag as she stumbled to the gross motel bathroom. 

Her throat burned with acid as she threw up, her already sickening pale hands somehow paler as she gripped the edge of the toilet. Her body trembled and she shivered with a small sob. 

She didn’t know if the tears that streamed down her face were from the pressure from being sick, or from the pain in her heart.

“ **_You’ve shown me the good in humanity, no matter how insane that is considering,”_ **

**_“Haha.”_ **

**_“I…”_ **

**_“Pammy?”_ **

She remembers how cold the floor was against her bare skin, how bright the overhead got the longer she stared at it.

Her breathing was short and painful and part of her, a small, sick part, wanted to see how long she could hold her breath. 

Her Puddin’ had always had a sick sense of humor.

The pain felt numb after a while compared to the ache in her heart and she clenched her fists before pulling herself up with the handle on the shitty shower the motel provided. 

She ripped the ring off her finger, it felt cold and empty without it. 

She glared at the little object, something that once brought so much joy and warmth to her heart only brought pain. 

She supposed it was fitting, considering who gave it to her. 

She threw it violently into the mirror with a screech, her anger grew. 

She didn’t remember breaking the hinges off the front door and she could feel her knuckles burning from where she’d punched the TV, but it’d only made her grip the steering wheel tighter. 

Maybe her Puddin’ would be pissy that she’d left him with the bill after destroying the room, but the fucker tried to poison her, it seems like getting off easy with karma if you asked her. 

She hadn’t dreamed in years, the clouds turned black and the butterflies died one by one with every flinch, but she'd swear up and down she's the happiest she's ever been. 

She would have told anyone that, because she was living her dream. 

She had everything she ever wanted and she’d kill anyone who tried to take her love, her one and only, away from her. 

“ **_I... I love you.”_ **

**_“Aw, I love you too, sweetie, but what’s up? I know you, Pam-a-lamb.”_ **

**_“Yeah, yeah you do. Ha, sorry, I’m just… I’m not used to feeling this uh nervous.”_ **

**_“Whatcha nervous for, silly, it’s jus’ me! Ya loving, understanding and smokin’ hot girlfriend.”_ **

But then she met Ivy. 

**_“Harley?”_ **

**_“Hm?”_ **

**_“I, I dislike your last name.”_ **

**_“...What?”_ **

**_“You should change it, t-to mine.”_ **

**_“Wh-, Oh, oh!”_ **

She didn’t dream of butterflies or soft fluffy clouds and she didn’t dream of the smell of acid or the feel of her cheek throbbing against the back of his hand. 

No, for the first time, she dreamed peacefully, in a field of roses and lilies with trees taller than she could see canopying over her once dark and dead little world. 

She dreamed of dragonflies that fluttered around her head and of soft white flowers sprouting around her body, blooming and growing larger and larger until they covered her in a gentle shade. 

She dreamed of red hair, of calloused hands stained green that clashed with the bleached white of her bare skin, and of soft, loving lips that touched every part of her, that left butterfly kisses against her neck and hickies on her hips and inner thighs. 

She dreamed of love, of soft touches filled with passion and moans that get swept away in the summer breeze. 

**_“I-Ive, I-I’m sorry,”_ **

Harley’s made a lot of mistakes in her life, punching Milly James in the third grade for stealing her juice box, breaking up with her high school girlfriend over text because she was too mad to go to her in person, because she knew she’d either fight or cry and she didn’t want to give that cheater the satisfaction. 

But for a long time she wholeheartedly believed her worst mistake however was taking those first steps through the gates of Arkham Asylum, going inside and letting her guard down, getting attached to her patients. Joker would always be the one she regretted being vulnerable with, but even to this day she still held a fondness for the handful of patients she’d had during her time there as Dr. Harleen Quinzel. The ones she’d grown closer to and hoped she’d helped at least a bit, maybe even just as a positive moment during their day. 

But then Harleen died. 

And for a long time, in the deep depths of her thoughts, that was her worst mistake. 

The Murder of Harleen Quinzel.

She never thought she would consider anything to be worse, until she felt the concrete underneath her feet as she ran, the dread, the fear and the feeling of shame spread through her as she realized who she was running from. What she was running from.

Her knees bleed against the pavement as she collapsed and she covered her mouth to stop herself from screaming. 

She shouldn’t be surprised, and deep down she knows this is a panic attack, that her PTSD was triggered and that it wasn’t her fault, but that was Harleen talking, and for a dead woman she sure does talk a lot. 

Harley sobs and clenches her fists, slamming them into the ground with a shout, beating on the pavement until her knuckles bled and there was a dent beneath them. 

She hates him, she hates what he made her into, she hates everything about him and she hates that that includes her long since tainted and shattered dreams of marrying the love of her life. 

She wants to dream again, she wants to be able to think of spending the rest of her life with Ivy, of walking down the aisle and reading off cheesy vows to each other. 

But she can’t, because the idea of allowing anyone to slip a simple, beautiful ring onto her finger makes her throat burn and she can taste blood on her tongue. 

Her nails dig painfully into her throat as she tries to hold back a scream, curling into herself as she sobs. 

“Harley?”

She doesn’t look up or even acknowledge that she’d heard the woman, but she feels her warmth next to her as she kneels down. 

She can feel the claws dig gently into her shoulder as she’s moved so her face is visible and she meets her eyes. 

“I-I fucked everythin’ up, kitty, she’s gunna hate me.” Her voice cracked and she shivered. She briefly thinks about the fact that she can’t seem to suck in a breath and then that was all she could focus on. 

“Harley, listen to me. Look at me.” 

Selina grabbed her hand and lifted her chin with her finger. 

“You have to breathe.” 

Harley chokes on a laugh, but focuses on the even rise and fall of Selina’s chest, trying to match her breathing to it. 

It took a few minutes, but Selina didn’t let go of her hand until she stopped sniffling. 

“Look, I don’t know what happened just now with you and Ivy, but I will confidently bet every jewel I’ve ever stolen that there’s nothing you could do that’d make her hate you.” 

Harley shakes her head, slowly lifting a hand to wipe away stray tears that were dripping down her neck. 

“I-”

“Harley?” 

Ivy stood nervously in the doorway, Harley wasn’t used to seeing her this nervous and it made her stomach turn knowing it was her actions that put that look on her face. 

She stepped closer to them, but froze at the small flinch Harley tried to hide. 

Hurt flooded her eyes before fading into sympathy and a soft “oh, Harl…” slipped from her lips. She knelt next to the two slowly and Harley’s eyes filled with tears again as a shaky “Ive, I’m sorry.” 

Selina let Ivy take Harley’s hand from her, knowing the other woman could take care of her from there. 

She stood, resting a comforting hand on Harley’s shoulder and she kissed the top of her head casually before leaving the two alone. 

Neither spoke for a moment. 

“I’m sorry,” they said in unison, laughing nervously. 

“No, no I shouldn’t have asked, it’s too soo-”

“No! I do! I,” Harley choked. “I want nothin’ more than ta spend the rest of my life with you, Pammy, burning racist CEOs who are destroyin’ tha planet before eventually settlin’ down in a forest, with a cute cottage where you can be close to the green and I can spend my final days with the most important person in tha world ta me.” 

Ivy gave her a fond look, brushing the back of her hand with her thumbs. 

“I just, I got a lotta fucked up stuff in my head…” 

Harley chewed on her lip nervously. 

“A-and it didn’t have nuthin’ ta do with you, sweetie, just…” Harley fidgeted with her fingers. “Just seein’ tha ring brought some stuff back, stuff from back then...with  _ him. _ ” She scratches her neck, digging her nails in. “Sumthin’ I’ve tried ta forget and it just,” She waves her hands around her head. “Triggered some stuff…” 

Ivy didn't regard the ring that she had had clutched in her hand, simply flicking it to the side where it soared out the open window. 

"Thank you," Ivy reached up and grabbed her hands, gently rubbing her thumb across her knuckles. "For telling me, babe." 

It's been difficult, breaking down walls she'd built up around the memories and truth of her relationship with Joker, but Ivy had always had more patience than her. 

She kissed her forehead softly. 

Harley leaned into the touch. 

"I love you Ive." 

"I love you too Harls, more than you will ever know." 

Harley didn't dream of anything that night, just a peaceful darkness that seemed to embrace her entire being, spreading a sense of warmth and safety through her bones. 

Ivy seemed nervous again when Harley saw her, sitting down at the small two person dining table their room came with, but she also looked stunning. 

The soft orange sunlight peered through the blinds, illuminating her dark green skin and making her red hair shine. 

"Damn, Red." Harley leans against the doorframe. "Have I ever told ya ya look like ya belong on a catwalk? Cause raaao," She rolled the cat noise off her tongue and did a playful clawing motion with her hand before giggling. 

Ivy looked up at her and flushed, chuckling at her as the blonde skipped farther into the room, plopping herself down comfortably on her lap. 

She wrapped her arms around her neck, playing with her hair. 

"Good morning, sweetie." Ivy gently kissed her, pulling back before Harley could react. "I uh, I had something I wanted to give you." She booped her nose gently. "I've been thinking a lot since yesterday, and I know how much cheesy romance things mean to you."

Harley laughed.

Guilty as charged, she's always been a romantic at heart. 

"So I-I made you this," Ivy cupped her hands and Harley watched as the vines move and bend to her will. 

A few seconds later she holds up a perfectly sized bracelet, the vines wrapped up a few times with soft pink flowers blooming from them. 

Harley wordlessly held out her arm, biting her lip with a grin. 

Ivy gently slipped the bracelet on and she held her arm up to the light. 

It went up to her mid forearm, wrapping around her arm a few times before ending with flower a color similar to the rest, only a darker pink. 

Harley stared at it for a second, trying to figure out what was so familiar about it. 

Ivy chuckled a little shyly. 

"Is this tha flower I gave ya back in Arkham?" Harley couldn't stop the emotional from seeping through her voice and she couldn't stop the tears when Ivy nodded. "I love it." Harley grins and throws her arms back around her shoulders, kissing her deeply. 

"I love you." She mutters against her lips and she feels Ivy smile. 

Ivy's hands are warm and firm on her hips and her lips taste like heaven, it felt like a dream Harley would gladly never awake from. 

**Author's Note:**

> ❤️❤️❤️ I hope you guys liked it! I've missed writing angst lol skskks  
> 💖 Please let me know what you thought in the comments if you feel like it, it means the world to me. 💖


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